Sometimes you have to just give in and ask for help. Well sometimes, you need to know who to ask help from. Some people think they know what you need, when in fact, you do not want anything from them. Because they cannot even help themselves. How are you supposed to get help from people that another word in their English language is the f word? I cannot get better and be optimistic if people are crazily screaming at the top of their lungs and bickering and fighting and treating each other like shit.
I guess my family put the "fun" in dysfunctional. But let's be honest here, what family isn't absolutely outta their tree? No really, I watched the movie Now and Then and I was listening to Teenie (Thora Birch's character) and she is explaining to Sam (Gaby Hoffman) that there are NO perfect families out there. Like the Brady Bunch, for example, Carol and Mike were both widowers, and same with the Von Trapp family and every other squeaky clean sitcom family that everyone wants to try and immitate. Yup there is no perfect family out there. Especially not mine. BUT we all HAVE to love eachother right? I guess. I love myself right now. That is all I am trying to focus on because sometimes I wish that my family (immediate) would just let me be for a second and not try and tell ME what is the best for ME. Because they don't know shit.
My oldest sister had to do the same thing. She had to say, "I am # 1" and she didn't talk to any of us for days, weeks, months. And that was fine with me because I was in Reno, NV, and they were all in Las Vegas. Now I am in HELL. A.K.A. Las Vegas with my family, with no phone.
If only I would have got together some money to have a nice studio to live in and then got into a job somewhere in Reno, I would not have to be in HELL.
Can anyone hear me?